Love.

I've been thinking. Shocker, I know. But really, I've been reflecting on what's going on around me, about my attitude towards people over the past few months, about how perspectives on these things can change in a few days or a few years. And I realized something.

Stubbornness surrounds so many relationships. Not everyone would consider stubbornness a part of their personality necessarily, but I think there's this innate sense that we have that we want to be right, as my friend was reminding me the other day. Whether you think yourself to be independent and stubborn or not, I think it's only human that when conflict arises, we want our way and we want to be right.

I speak from experience.

But this past weekend, I really think God broke through. It wasn't in any big flashy way. It wasn't like God used bright flashing neon signs and natural disasters to bring me to this realization. It came through the stillness of a heart searching and longing for something more than broken relationships and pain and cynicism and shortcomings.

Sidenote: In 1 Kings 9 it says, "Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave." [verses 11-13 if you care to know]. I just really like that. How this God who created all of these things that can be shattered to pieces, shaken to destruction, and burned to ashes was not in them. He was in the peace. The quiet. He came gently in a quiet whisper, and Elijah knew that God's presence was there.

God really showed me something: instead of thinking I have a right to be mad, to be angry, to be hurt, which I really don't, why not let it go? Even if someone else things I'd be completely justified in that situation to feel that way and act accordingly. What if I chose to respond otherwise?

Seriously. If someone close to us really hurts us, it is only natural for us to want to yell in anger yet cry in pain, to be stubborn and hold a grudge, avoid them, hate them, hurt them back. Some may say you'd be completely justified in doing so and may take your side. They may take the other person's side. And all of a sudden there's this division. Division between people, and even within yourself. You cling to the right you think you have to be and feel and act the way you do, thinking it will get you somewhere.

I'll be the first to tell you the only place it gets you is one where you are worse off than before.

What if we chose to love? To overlook people's faults. Not to say that we need to act like nothing's wrong and pretend people are perfect. That's not what I'm saying. What I am saying is, I'd be shocked if someone just told me whatever I said and did to them didn't change their love for me. If I messed up and they said "It's okay. Stop thinking that. Stop feeling that. I still love you and it's all in the past." I wouldn't know what to do. Or to say. I would feel indebted.

What if I responded that way when people hurt me or did wrong to me? If I just put it in the past and said "What's done is done, but it's over. I still love you and care about you?" What if someone told you they hated you to your face and you don't give in to your human instincts to want to hate and hurt them back? You just responded in love and forgiveness and acceptance?

Truth is, that's EXACTLY what God has done for me. And He is able to do it in a perfect fashion. He takes all my crap, and longs for me to repent from it. He longs to fulfill my longings. He loves and forgives and accepts me despite what I think about Him, say to Him, or do to Him that hurts Him. It leaves me speechless. But it leaves me covered in grace. In mercy. In love. In acceptance. In peace.

I wonder what our world would look like if we were all able to love each other like that. I know, we can't do it perfectly. We will mess up. But when we go out covered in the grace, love, forgiveness, and acceptance of the Father, He is able to perfect the love we show toward others. I pray that my love becomes refined and perfected, and that little by little the world begins to see change that comes from a perfect God working in and through His people.